Are You Too Busy For Sex?
“I am hot! My wife is hot! This was ideally true during our one year of marriage. Nowadays, there’s no way for us to have time for sex because our time is eaten up by the concerns of our three kids, and our work,” a male friend complains.
He further adds: “We have no time to unwind. No time to give ourselves a break and to look at our relationship objectively. We are pressured by responsibilities and deadlines all throughout the week. No time for ourselves! No time for intimacy that couples should have. When my wife arrives home, she prepares dinner, attends to the needs of the kids and my parents and by the time it’s time to hit the sack, she is so tired that sometimes even I don’t have the heart to disturb her. Somehow, it has begun to seem that sex was only limited to our honey moon period.
Whenever I get home early and still have time with kids, I play with them and inevitably find myself extremely tired. That means no more time to talk with my wife. Of course, early in the morning, there’s food to be cooked, aarti to be done, tiffins to be packed and children to be packed off to school. We find ourselves tending to the needs of the kids and with preparing ourselves for work.”
When I heard this from a man who is dedicated to his role as a husband and a father, I couldn’t help but contemplate my own relationship with my husband. It seems that this has become true to my marriage. Probably, my husband is complaining deep inside. For the past few months, I think that our relationship as husband and wife is no longer healthy because we seem to become mere house mates and our concerns are only focused on the welfare of the children and of our work. From the deepest recesses of my soul, I found myself longing for such coupling intimacy. But gone are the days when our libido was so active that we could still manage to find time for sex. After having two kids and another one is coming up soon, it’s a luxury too lofty to experience. I discovered that life is getting dull because I have forgotten that sex is part of our marriage. So, before everything would be too late, I reviewed the reasons why sex is still very important to married couples.
First, sex must be taken into consideration. It is not the centre of marriage but it is part and parcel of marital life. We find ourselves caught up by the many concerns of life but our sex life must not be neglected. Many things can happen when the intimate connection between a husband and a wife is lost. There is a tendency for us to forget our commitment as husband and wife. We may lose sight of our relationship and end up with constant disagreements and quarreling. Resentments may pile up since we no longer appreciate the presence of our partner. These could lead to infidelity and extra-marital affairs. Hence, it is sex life that provides the connection which strengthens our marital relationship in the process.
Second, sexual intercourse presents the significance of the true nature of union and communion. From the perspective of marriage, sex is said to be the deepest expression of love. The more you engage in lovemaking with your partner, the more you become intimate with one another because you share something in common: true love. One cannot just engage in lovemaking if you do not love that person. Lovemaking goes beyond meeting one’s physiological need. It is no longer taken as a need but essentially a part of one another’s wholeness.
Third, lovemaking brings out the meaningfulness of marital life. It is that which fuels us to strengthen our bond with our partner. I happened to meet a friend of mine who is happily married. She said: “Sex in the context of marital relations cannot just be undermined. It is that which makes life meaningful. Everything I do is easy because I am doing it not for my sake but for the sake of my partner.” Thus, if you want your marital relationship to last a lifetime, you should take time for sex.
Since sex provides the ingredient for husband and wife to live a life of intimacy and communion, there is no way that can you say to your partner: “I’m so busy to even have time for sex!” This is why we always need to find time for engage in it with our partners.
(6 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
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Yes lack of sex can lead to marital discord & extra marital affairs as pointed out. Sex after the libido has declined, as will always be the case, is difficult for one partner if not both. But yes sex with the spouse is always gratifying.