1) You and your man have discussed buying a kitten
Or any pet for that matter. You obviously are portraying the mother instinct of having the urge to look after, feed, nurture and have some responsibility and you are obviously prepared to part with some cash for pet food/vet bills. Could this longing for a pet actually hiding your need to become a mummy? Is this secretly a test for your other half to see how he deals with it? If you find yourself talking about your pet incessantly, dressing it up, canceling nights out or rushing home to give your pet a cuddle, needless to say, its time for you to get a baby.

2) You prefer a night in to a night out?
Yes, it happens! Even to the best of us. The thought of relaxing on your sofa with a pizza and watching some TV is far more appealing then dressing up and going out to paint the town red. This lifestyle shows you are ready for a baby!

3) You dream of babies
If you have dreams of yourself cradling a baby in your arms or a toddler clutching on to your finger, it’s needless to say that you’re ready for a baby. This is indicative of your sub-conscious minds yearning for a baby.

4)You stop and admire other people’s babies
If you find other peoples whiny, snotty babes cute then you are most definitely ready for one. If you talk naturally to children and volunteer for babysitting your friend’s children, it’s time for you to embrace the fact that you need to get your own!

5) Your spare room looks empty and sad
Isn’t it time you started shopping for train wallpapers or for a Shrek bedsheets. Does the spare room deserve more than just being a store room for the useless junk in the house?

6) You’ve already chosen your babies’ names
And you’ve told all your friends so they don’t copy your favourite names.

7) You’ve been around the world and had exotic holidays
Once the baby comes into your lives, you’ll be trading in those long haul flights for family holidays. Hence, if you’ve been places, you’re less likely to resent the fact that having kids means you’ll have to cap the luxury.

You’ve already cut down on alcohol/caffeine/smoking
Since these are things you have to eventually cut down on or give up altogether, it can only be helpful if you have already reduced consumption. If you think cutting down or giving them up, talk to your GP who can give you the right advice about cutting down or stopping.

9) You’ve both ‘talked’ about having babies
If you’ve had the “talk” and it didn’t end up in him admitting that he never wants babies and you in tears, but felt more like a discussion then you are probably ready. Making the decision to try is going to be scary and nerve-racking – but the god news, once you do become pregnant, you’ve got 9 whole months to get ready and prepared for the stork to come drop off the baby.

10) You’ve sneaked into a baby shop and ‘pretended’ you’re buying a present for someone…
But really you’re imagining what it feels like shopping for your little one. Wondering what it would be like dressing up your baby, or playing with those toys with him, or putting those pretty socks on her…yes, you’ve got it bad.

If you find yourself nodding to at least 5 of the answers above, it’s pretty certain that you are ready for a baby…and we at TheAsianParent would like to see you officially join the community. Good luck, mums-and-dads-to-be!

Having Children Earlier
If you – like the rest of the world’ population – have spent a significant amount of time searching for The One before settling down to a domestic fairytale, it would be wise to start conceiving before Mother Nature slows down your biological clock and turns pregnancy into a long extended struggle.

A mother of two girls, Pamela shares her reasons for becoming a mother at the young age of 22: “I was afraid of how aging would affect the health of my babies. And knowing that younger mothers potentially have less pregnancy risks, it was a natural choice for me and my husband to start early.”

A year after the birth of Lauren, Pamela and her husband planned and conceived their second child. They had decided that they wanted a two year gap so as to foster closeness between the children, and to cut down the amount of time she had to leave work behind to commit full-time as a stay-home mom.

As fate would have it for their best laid plans, Eirian was born when Lauren was 25 months old.

Pamela had suffered from severe morning sickness in both pregnancies and was glad that her child spacing plan minimized the agony during her second pregnancy as Lauren was already walking and more independent. Pamela joked: “I think if I had them any closer together, I would have gone mad from the amount of effort!”

Having Children Later
After eight years of courtship, Tony and his wife got married at 34 and 33 years old respectively, and had initially not planned for children at all. They had wanted to enjoy what life had to offer – traveling extensively and enjoying the local arts scene together.

Five years into their marriage, they accidentally fell pregnant and decided to keep the baby. To this day, they have not once regretted the decision as Tony shares: “Being older, we had a maturity that came with age. We were also financially able to provide a better life for our little girl.”

With the new found joy of parenthood, Tony and his wife decided to try for a second child when their firstborn turned three. However, luck was not on their side.

Shortly into their second pregnancy, their unborn child was suspected to be at high risk for Down’s Syndrome during a Nuchal Transparency Scan, which was later confirmed through amniocentesis. It was a heartbreaking choice for them to undergo an abortion.

“Our children are a reflection of us; and when that reflection is very much less than perfect, we got frightened of the amount of effort and resources we would have to put into helping our kid thrive. There is too little government and society support for special children, and all that just led to one great giant fear.”

Tony and his wife conceived again a year after the painful experience, and have since given birth to a healthy baby boy.

“If we could choose again, I think we would have our first child two years earlier to cut down on all the health risks – for both mother and child – associated with a higher maternal age.”

The ultimate choice is yours to make
There are indeed pros and cons for both sides of the coin. With having children earlier, while there is significantly less risk with fertility and health issues, you may not be as financially stable. It can also be tiring to cater to a little one during your youthful years when your peers are out having fun. Sometimes, it may even feel like you are being robbed of your freedom and finances.

On the other hand, waiting until you are financially ready may mean undergoing the many risks involved with higher maternal age. While you may have gotten bored of an exciting social life and can’t wait to settle down into familial bliss, you may also find yourself having less physical energy to spend quality time with your children.

At the end of the day, there is no touted “best time” to conceive. It all boils down to how ready you are in becoming a parent, and how much you are willing offer in all aspects of your life.

How often should I be having sex?
Sperm is able to survive in the female reproductive tract between 2 to 5 days, so your best bet is to have sex about three times a week.

If you really can’t make time to have regular enjoyable sex, try to have sex every alternate day during the most fertile week of your menstrual cycle. You can choose to use an ovulation detector to aid you in finding out your most fertile period.

However, if you and your spouse are up for more action, do take note not to have sex every day. The sperm supply requires sufficient time to increase, which in turn increases your chances of conception!

Does having an orgasm help me get pregnant?
While having an orgasm does not guarantee conception, it certainly increases your chances. When the female orgasm happens with or after the male orgasm, the vaginal spasms help draw the sperm upwards through the cervix and into the uterus to meet the egg. Thereafter, we cross our fingers and hope fertilization occurs.

On a different note, getting orgasms while trying to make a baby definitely makes the process a lot more enjoyable!

Which position should we have sex in?
The good old missionary is the optimal position to adopt as it allows semen to flow towards the cervix instead of away. You can also tap into Mother Nature’s power of gravity to help the sperm travel more effectively if you tilt your hips slightly upwards immediately after sex.

Should I try to stop the sperm from leaking out after sex?
Definitely. If you were to move around immediately after sex – or worse, go wash yourself squeaky clean down there – most of the semen would probably flow out and thus decreasing the possibility of pregnancy. But of course, we don’t have to go to extremities of turning yourself upside down to ensure all the sperm stays inside.

Will contraceptive pills affect my fertility?
If you’ve had regular periods before starting on birth control pills, you have nothing to worry about at all. The contraceptive effect is completely reversible and your normal cycle should resume within six months from the time you stop.

Is there a body type that’s best for conceiving?
We’ve all heard old wives’ tales about how women with wider hips are more fertile, but in reality, your body shape bears no effect to your ability in becoming a mother. Some curvy women could have fertility issues, while some slender thin-hipped get pregnant easily. There is no such thing as a “fertile” body type.

Find out more about infertility – it’s physical and emotional definition, causes and impact on lives  – from leading experts such as Dr. Alan Decherney (UCLA School of Medicine) , Dr Robert Kiltz (CNY Fertility Centre), Dr. Alice Domar (Harvard Medical School) and Dr Micheal Alper (Harvard Medical School) .

When am I most fertile?
In terms of fertility, women are at their best between 20-24. However, the trend of having children at a later age is out there in today’s world. Since the mid 1970s there has been a four-fold increase in the percent of first births to women 30 years and older. Therefore, it’s important to know that by the age of 35, fertility is already spiralling downwards. Of course you can try for a kid at that age but complications may arise such as, miscarriages and diabetes in the mother and Down syndrome and autism in the child.

Besides using a calendar to chart your fertile period, be sure to check out your cervical mucus. The cervix produces mucus that protects the body from sperm, bacteria and other organisms. Several days each month, the stability of the mucus changes to allow sperm to enter the fallopian tubes. You can determine your fertile period by observing these changes. Do your checks before you shower, bathe, or swim as these activities can all affect the quantity and quality of your cervical mucus.

Is there a link between fertility and a nutritional diet?
Definitely.

Have a diet that balances out the calories, carbohydrates, protein and fibres. Eat wholemeal carbs instead of whit carbs such as rice, bread and pasta because they have 15 different nutrients removed. A daily portion of omega-3 fats is also recommended and avoid excess saturated fat. Water is the most important fertility food to consume. Your baby is your seed. Therefore, water is important to help your baby to grow. It also helps maintain a normal pregnancy.

Bulk up on folic acid as it is crucial in the formation of blood cells and in the development of the baby’s nervous system. Part of vitamin B, folic acid can be found leafy vegetables, liver and certain cereals. And we’re not just talking about women here, men too should have folic acid in their daily diet.

If you love tea and your husband loves colas, then there is a problem. The caffeine in these has been shown to reduce fertility in men by 50% which makes it twice as long to fall pregnant. This can’t easily be tested in women but we could assume similar issues. However, green tea has been given the nod for boosting fertility. Stay clear of diets! Starvation diets, purging, bingeing, and yo-yo dieting affect ovulation and consequently your fertility.

What kind of a check-up should I go for?
Choose a gynaecologist and visit him/ her to discuss about your conception chances, any medical problems that you may have or had that may affect your conception or pregnancy and if your family history of any genetic problems. It is best to do this with your husband. Here’s a tip: Try to book the last appointment of the day for your preconception check-up. That’s when your doctor is most likely to be able to take the time to answer your questions and address your concerns without feeling rushed to go on to the next patient.

If you are having pain on one side around your tummy area, or feel bloated and fatigue is eating into your lifestyle, have a pelvic ultrasound scan that will check for ovarian cysts and fibroids (both which are benign) in the womb. Ovarian cysts can be treated by hormonal tablets and at times surgery is not needed. Fibroids usually require surgery.

What should I avoid?
Avoid cigarettes, alcohol and harmful substances. Wait a minute! Haven’t teachers been advising this from young? Anyway, now you actually have a reason to stay away from these. Miscarriages, underdevelopment in the baby’s growth (in the womb), placenta bleeding are just some of the situations that can occur from smoking and the rest.

While you are avoiding these with the husband, there is something else he needs to be aware of and try to stay clear of – heat. Heat is bad news. Chefs have lower sperm counts than average, because they’re exposed to the intense heat from the ovens. This also means men shouldn’t wear tight pants and trousers, which can cause the sperm to overheat.

We went for IUI half a year ago and for that month, to my horror, I did not seem to ovulate, from my temperature reading. It remained low throughout. The question that puzzled me was this, I was given a jab a day before IUI (the doctor told me it was meant for me to ovulate within the next 24 hours). After IUI, I was given two types of medication, namely Progynova and Utrogestan for the next 14 days. Could it be that I was allergic to the medicine? Or the jab? Please advise.

The basal body temperature is not a very accurate method of monitoring ovulation as the body temperature may be affected by several factors including physical activity and minor illnesses.

The most accurate method of monitoring of ovulation is by ultrasound scan to check the growth of follicles (fluid filled spaces in the ovaries containing the egg) in the ovaries. Usually, once the follicle matures (reaches a size of 18 mm), an Human Chorionic Gonadotropin injection is given and IUI is done 36 hours later to coincide with the approximate time of ovulation.

Women may fail to ovulate especially in stressful situations. It could be that you were very anxious during the IUI attempt resulting in failure of ovulation that month. As I am not clear which allergy you are referring to, it is best to consult your doctor on this.

Answered by
Dr Anupriya Agarwal
Associate Consultant
Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology:
National University Hospital (NUH)

Tanya Dutta, age 39, had been trying for a baby for almost a year and when she couldn’t conceive, began blaming herself for being infertile. However, after a medical examination of both her and her husband, it was found to be that Tanya’s husband was the infertile one.

TheAsianParent answers common questions about infertility.

What is infertility?
Infertility is the inability of a man or a woman to contribute to conception. It also refers to the state of a woman who miscarries while being pregnant. The common misconception of infertility is that only women can be infertile. In another one third of cases, infertility is due to the man (male factors).

How common is it?
Generally, worldwide, it is estimated that one in seven couples have problems conceiving, with the incidence similar in most countries independent of the level of the country’s development.

In Singapore, infertility affects about 15 per cent of the population.

What are the risk factors that bring on infertility?
There are many factors that contribute to infertility, however, they differ accordingly to women and men.

The risk factors for men are – alcohol, drugs, smoking, age, radiation or chemotherapy, health problems.
The risk factors for women are – alcohol, drugs, smoking, age, stress, poor diet, weight problems, sexually transmitted diseases, health problems that interfere with hormonal changes and even athletic training.

Infertility in India
Some of the main causes of infertility in India are infections, STDs, injuries and genetic defects.

Causes and treatments for infertile men
There are many treatments available and the choice of treatment depends on the cause and also the individual’s level of comfort on it.

Hormonal disorders
Deficiency of two hormones from the pituitary gland – luteinising hormone (LH) and follicular stimulating hormone (FSH) – can occur either congenitally or as a side effect of treatment of other disorders. Usually the patient will present with azoospermia (absence of sperm in ejaculation) and androgen deficiency. Treatment with synthetic LH and FSH readily kick-start the sperm producing function of the testes and spontaneous pregnancies are common after treatment.

Blockages of sperm transport as a result of disorder of development of the genital tract, a previous bad infection or a previous vasectomy.

This occurs in about 6 per cent of men with infertility. A bypass surgery is sometimes possible depending on the level of obstruction. Otherwise, sperm can be readily obtained by surgery for use in in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) to achieve pregnancy.

Medical therapy such as anabolic steroids and cytotoxic therapy
Sperm production usually recovers with cessation of therapy or change of medication.

Sperm antibodies
The reason for the occurrence is usually not obvious. Sperm antibodies interfere with fertility by reducing sperm motility and severely affecting fertilisation. Pregnancy chances increase with therapy targeted at the sperm antibodies, however in some cases IVF is necessary for a good result.

Disorder of sexual function
This includes failure of sexual intercourse because of inadequate penile erection, failure of ejaculation, low sexual frequency and poor timing of sexual intercourse. Frequently, these conditions respond to treatment including proper counselling.

What is IVF?
In-Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) involves putting the eggs and sperms together. By natural selection, the egg will usually allow only one sperm to enter and this usually leads to the fertilisation process in the laboratory. After fertilisation, the embryos are allowed to grow for a short period of time before being placed into the uterus. A successful pregnancy can be confirmed about 2 weeks later.

Who Is Suitable For IVF?
IVF is the only fertility treatment for women with irreparably damaged or blocked fallopian tubes. IVF is also offered when infertile women cannot conceive with simpler methods of treatment for conditions such as endometriosis, ovulation dysfunction, unexplained infertility, sperm disorders and immunological problems.

The success rate of IVF treatment in KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital is about 30-35% per cycle and the take-home-baby rate is about 25-27%. Additional embryos frozen further enhance the pregnancy chances in many of the patients.

What Is ICSI?
Intra-Cytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI) involves injecting a single sperm into each egg to allow fertilisation to occur in the laboratory.

Who Is Suitable For ICSI ?
ICSI is recommended if the husband has poor quality sperms or if you have had difficulties with fertilisation in the past.

Occasions & Stress
As we move from Christmas and New Year and prepare for Chinese New Year to rap on our doors, we are sure the topic of babies and children will be on the plate, especially for newly hitched couples. If infertility is a touchy subject for you and something you wish not to share with the rest of the family, talking about babies will definitely get you down.

However, remember this. You are not alone in the infertile world and it does not mean that you will never hear the sweet footsteps of children. Adoption and foster parenting are always steady options you can consider.

But in addition to traditional and innovative medical intervention, some people are seeking out the health-enhancing benefits of yoga to help with conception. A Harvard based study found that women who were trying for a baby were three times more likely to conceive if they took fertility-focused yoga courses than those who did not.

Fertility focused yoga poses (asana’s) are suggested to reduce stress and effect the entire endocrine system in what is believed to be a beneficial way. They are also believed to cause an increase in energy in the pelvis (apana).

Balasana or Child’s Pose

Child’s Pose

Before beginning any type of pose, knowing the Child’s Pose is essential. This pose allows the body to release tension and to seek balance. Firstly, kneel down and sit on your heels with your arms at your sides. Inhale and then exhale. Upon exhaling, bend forward, allowing your chest to rest on your thighs. Then slide your arms back along your body and place our forehead on the floor. Next, focus on your breathing. Stay in this pose for a minute or so, until you feel the tension release.

Setu Bandha Sarvangasana or Bridge Pose

Bridge Pose

Another pose that stimulates the hormones is the Bridge Pose. Lie on the floor and bend your knees. Setting your feet on the floor, make sure your heels are as near the sitting bones as possible. Exhale and press your inner feet and arms into the floor. At the same time, push your tailbone upwards, towards the pubis, firming the buttocks and lift your buttocks off the floor. Clasp your hands below the pelvis and extend them through your arms to enable you to remain on the tops of your shoulders.

The buttocks are lifted until the floor and your thighs are parallel. Keep your knees directly over the heels but push them forward, away from the hips. Lift your pubis towards your navel. Next, lift up your chin slightly away from the sternum and firm your shoulder blades against your back. Press the top of the sternum towards your chin. Your outer arms should be firm and the shoulder blades broadened. Thereafter, attempt to lift the space between them at the base of the neck up into the torso. Stay in the pose for about half a minute a one minute. Exhale gently and roll your spine slowly onto the floor.

Padmasana or Lotus Pose

Lotus Pose

There are three poses to stimulate and relax the abdominal and reproductive areas. One of these is the lotus pose. Begin by placing yourself in a sitting position, legs straight out in front of you. Next, bend down and pull your right leg up, curving at the hip joint instead of the knee. Rest your right foot in the crook of your left arm and relax. Slowly place your right foot on top of your left thigh with your right knee on the floor. Draw your left leg and repeat the steps. Following that, sit with your legs crossed and place each of your hand and fingertips at the top of each knee. Remember at each practice, to alternate the cross of the outer leg so as to not place too much stress on your hip joint.

Salamba Sirsasana or Supported Headstand

Supported Headstand Pose

Salamba Sirsasana, or supported headstand as it is known globally, is a pose that is strengthens the whole body, reduces symptoms of asthma and insomnia and even relaxes the mind to relieve stress. It stimulates the hormones too. It is advisable to practice this pose against a wall to avoid placing too much weight on the head and neck.

Firstly begin in the Balasana’s pose. Next, keeping your hands together, place your forearms on the floor with your head between your fingers. Breathe in and move your feet closer to your head with your heels up and shoulder blades down into your back. Breathe out and lift your legs up together. Trust your legs upwards and unfolding them at the knees with your toes pointed. Try not to arch your back. To avoid applying pressure to the tailbone, stretch your legs upward. This pose should be held for 10 seconds or more. Gently end this pose by curling our legs down in a fluid motion and releasing yourself back into the Child’s Pose.

If doing these alone can seem rather dispiriting, get your partner to join in! Not only would it seem more interesting, your relationship is also being strengthened at the same time. Care should be taken when attempting any yoga pose, especially for beginners. Such poses are best done with the support of an experienced yoga teacher. Have fun and enjoy!

How does CGH work?

Basically, a laser cuts a hole in the edge of the ovum and then, using a pipette, the polar body is sucked out.

The chromosomes found inside the polar body should be a mirror image of those left in the ovum. So by analysing the polar body, scientists can determine what is left behind in the ovum, without disturbing it.

Thus, upon examining the polar body they find, for example, that there is a chromosome missing from the ovum, then any subsequent embryo will fail, even though it looks healthy using the microscope.

Experts believe the technique could significantly improve a couples’ chance of having successful fertility treatment.

Have you tried comparitive genomic hybridisation? If you have share your experience with all of us here!

According to the Telegraph, Britain’s first iPhone baby is due very soon. The couple tried the fertility app after trying to conceive for three years. The woman entered her temperature daily and it told her when she would be very fertile. Within two months of diligently using the app, she became pregnant. She’s very happy and proud to say that her baby is definitely an “iPhone baby”.

Once her baby comes out, she would probably be using another iPhone app that will tell her why her baby is crying. Seems like cellphone technology is getting better and better. Years ago, mobile phones were solely used for the purpose of calling and sending sms. But now we see that their use has expanded to more than just for communicating.

What do you think of these apps that help parents conceive? Do you think they’re really useful? Have you tried downloading one? Share with us your experience!