1) You and your man have discussed buying a kitten
Or any pet for that matter. You obviously are portraying the mother instinct of having the urge to look after, feed, nurture and have some responsibility and you are obviously prepared to part with some cash for pet food/vet bills. Could this longing for a pet actually hiding your need to become a mummy? Is this secretly a test for your other half to see how he deals with it? If you find yourself talking about your pet incessantly, dressing it up, canceling nights out or rushing home to give your pet a cuddle, needless to say, its time for you to get a baby.

2) You prefer a night in to a night out?
Yes, it happens! Even to the best of us. The thought of relaxing on your sofa with a pizza and watching some TV is far more appealing then dressing up and going out to paint the town red. This lifestyle shows you are ready for a baby!

3) You dream of babies
If you have dreams of yourself cradling a baby in your arms or a toddler clutching on to your finger, it’s needless to say that you’re ready for a baby. This is indicative of your sub-conscious minds yearning for a baby.

4)You stop and admire other people’s babies
If you find other peoples whiny, snotty babes cute then you are most definitely ready for one. If you talk naturally to children and volunteer for babysitting your friend’s children, it’s time for you to embrace the fact that you need to get your own!

5) Your spare room looks empty and sad
Isn’t it time you started shopping for train wallpapers or for a Shrek bedsheets. Does the spare room deserve more than just being a store room for the useless junk in the house?

6) You’ve already chosen your babies’ names
And you’ve told all your friends so they don’t copy your favourite names.

7) You’ve been around the world and had exotic holidays
Once the baby comes into your lives, you’ll be trading in those long haul flights for family holidays. Hence, if you’ve been places, you’re less likely to resent the fact that having kids means you’ll have to cap the luxury.

You’ve already cut down on alcohol/caffeine/smoking
Since these are things you have to eventually cut down on or give up altogether, it can only be helpful if you have already reduced consumption. If you think cutting down or giving them up, talk to your GP who can give you the right advice about cutting down or stopping.

9) You’ve both ‘talked’ about having babies
If you’ve had the “talk” and it didn’t end up in him admitting that he never wants babies and you in tears, but felt more like a discussion then you are probably ready. Making the decision to try is going to be scary and nerve-racking – but the god news, once you do become pregnant, you’ve got 9 whole months to get ready and prepared for the stork to come drop off the baby.

10) You’ve sneaked into a baby shop and ‘pretended’ you’re buying a present for someone…
But really you’re imagining what it feels like shopping for your little one. Wondering what it would be like dressing up your baby, or playing with those toys with him, or putting those pretty socks on her…yes, you’ve got it bad.

If you find yourself nodding to at least 5 of the answers above, it’s pretty certain that you are ready for a baby…and we at TheAsianParent would like to see you officially join the community. Good luck, mums-and-dads-to-be!

We went for IUI half a year ago and for that month, to my horror, I did not seem to ovulate, from my temperature reading. It remained low throughout. The question that puzzled me was this, I was given a jab a day before IUI (the doctor told me it was meant for me to ovulate within the next 24 hours). After IUI, I was given two types of medication, namely Progynova and Utrogestan for the next 14 days. Could it be that I was allergic to the medicine? Or the jab? Please advise.

The basal body temperature is not a very accurate method of monitoring ovulation as the body temperature may be affected by several factors including physical activity and minor illnesses.

The most accurate method of monitoring of ovulation is by ultrasound scan to check the growth of follicles (fluid filled spaces in the ovaries containing the egg) in the ovaries. Usually, once the follicle matures (reaches a size of 18 mm), an Human Chorionic Gonadotropin injection is given and IUI is done 36 hours later to coincide with the approximate time of ovulation.

Women may fail to ovulate especially in stressful situations. It could be that you were very anxious during the IUI attempt resulting in failure of ovulation that month. As I am not clear which allergy you are referring to, it is best to consult your doctor on this.

Answered by
Dr Anupriya Agarwal
Associate Consultant
Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology:
National University Hospital (NUH)

According to the Telegraph, Britain’s first iPhone baby is due very soon. The couple tried the fertility app after trying to conceive for three years. The woman entered her temperature daily and it told her when she would be very fertile. Within two months of diligently using the app, she became pregnant. She’s very happy and proud to say that her baby is definitely an “iPhone baby”.

Once her baby comes out, she would probably be using another iPhone app that will tell her why her baby is crying. Seems like cellphone technology is getting better and better. Years ago, mobile phones were solely used for the purpose of calling and sending sms. But now we see that their use has expanded to more than just for communicating.

What do you think of these apps that help parents conceive? Do you think they’re really useful? Have you tried downloading one? Share with us your experience!

He further adds: “We have no time to unwind. No time to give ourselves a break and to look at our relationship objectively. We are pressured by responsibilities and deadlines all throughout the week. No time for ourselves! No time for intimacy that couples should have. When my wife arrives home, she prepares dinner, attends to the needs of the kids and my parents and by the time it’s time to hit the sack, she is so tired that sometimes even I don’t have the heart to disturb her. Somehow, it has begun to seem that sex was only limited to our honey moon period.

Whenever I get home early and still have time with kids, I play with them and inevitably find myself extremely tired. That means no more time to talk with my wife. Of course, early in the morning, there’s food to be cooked, aarti to be done, tiffins to be packed and children to be packed off to school. We find ourselves tending to the needs of the kids and with preparing ourselves for work.”

When I heard this from a man who is dedicated to his role as a husband and a father, I couldn’t help but contemplate my own relationship with my husband. It seems that this has become true to my marriage. Probably, my husband is complaining deep inside. For the past few months, I think that our relationship as husband and wife is no longer healthy because we seem to become mere house mates and our concerns are only focused on the welfare of the children and of our work. From the deepest recesses of my soul, I found myself longing for such coupling intimacy. But gone are the days when our libido was so active that we could still manage to find time for sex. After having two kids and another one is coming up soon, it’s a luxury too lofty to experience. I discovered that life is getting dull because I have forgotten that sex is part of our marriage. So, before everything would be too late, I reviewed the reasons why sex is still very important to married couples.

First, sex must be taken into consideration.  It is not the centre of marriage but it is part and parcel of marital life. We find ourselves caught up by the many concerns of life but our sex life must not be neglected. Many things can happen when the intimate connection between a husband and a wife is lost. There is a tendency for us to forget our commitment as husband and wife. We may lose sight of our relationship and end up with constant disagreements and quarreling. Resentments may pile up since we no longer appreciate the presence of our partner. These could lead to infidelity and extra-marital affairs. Hence, it is sex life that provides the connection which strengthens our marital relationship in the process.

Second, sexual intercourse presents the significance of the true nature of union and communion. From the perspective of marriage, sex is said to be the deepest expression of love. The more you engage in lovemaking with your partner, the more you become intimate with one another because you share something in common: true love.  One cannot just engage in lovemaking if you do not love that person. Lovemaking goes beyond meeting one’s physiological need. It is no longer taken as a need but essentially a part of one another’s wholeness.

Third, lovemaking brings out the meaningfulness of marital life. It is that which fuels us to strengthen our  bond with our partner. I happened to meet a friend of mine who is happily married. She said: “Sex in the context of marital relations cannot just be undermined. It is that which makes life meaningful. Everything I do is easy because I am doing it not for my sake but for the sake of my partner.” Thus, if you want your marital relationship to last a lifetime, you should take time for sex.

Since sex provides the ingredient for husband and wife to live a life of intimacy and communion, there is no way that can you say to your partner: “I’m so busy to even have time for sex!” This is why we always need to find time for engage in it with our partners.

Prenatal vitamins are extremely important and are therefore recommended for all pregnant women and women who are trying to conceive. These vitamins are intended to fill up the gap that might be there in the amount of vitamins required by the pregnant woman and the amount of vitamins that are provided by the diet. Think of it as an insurance policy to make sure you’re getting the right amount of certain important nutrients during pregnancy.

Though prenatal vitamins are prescribed to everyone and they are necessary, it’s not always very pleasant to take them. Your vitamins can cause some unpleasant changes in your body. For a lot of women, prenatal vitamins cause nausea. Their stomachs begin to churn as soon as they take their vitamins and they may feel uncomfortable. If you are experiencing something like this, ask your doctor to prescribe you another brand. Your prenatal vitamins may also make you constipated. This is typically because of iron supplements. You may ask your doctor to switch you to a liquid supplement for iron in case the pills are making you constipated.

Since you are told that your supplements are extremely important for your health, you may be following the regimen religiously. However, sometimes it is possible to forget about taking your pills. Do not beat yourself about in such a case. Simply get yourself a pill reminder case to make sure that you remember your pills.

Drugs or medications that may be dangerous to the fetus are epilepsy drugs, antibiotics, treatment for severe acne, drugs for the treatment of heart disease and psychiatric drugs.

In a study conducted by researchers from the University of Montreal in Quebec, Canada, it was discovered that a large percentage of women exposed to such drugs either had pregnancy terminations or babies born with defects.

Experts advise women to plan their pregnancies to minimize risk of exposing their babies to such drugs. They should also understand the effects that certain drugs may have on their unborn baby. When unsure as to how a certain medication can affect their babies, it is really wise for pregnant women to consult their doctors immediately.

In a scenario where a woman has had three abortions in her twenties, what are the conceiving odds that might be present to her?

Also, if an older man is dating a younger woman, in your opinion, which one of them should be bound with contraception?

According to the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists abortion may be associated with a small increase in the risk of subsequent miscarriage or preterm delivery. The higher number of abortions the higher the risk of subsequent miscarriage. There is a need for studies which focus directly on the connection between multiple abortions and pregnancy loss and women should be informed of the risks of repeated abortion to their future health

For the second question, this should generally be a joint decision. It is important that the younger woman use contraception (e.g. oral contraceptive pill) considering their increased level of fertility. The older man should also be using contraception in the form of condoms (as older men are still fertile) to protect against sexually transmitted diseases.

In addition male fertility is less affected by age, unlike women so it is important for the older man to use condoms if his younger female partner is not using any form of contraception.

Answered by

Dr. Christopher Ng

Consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist

GynaeMD Women’s and Rejuvenation Clinic, Camden Medical Centre.

Like what you read? Facebook it!

Share on Facebook

While few can deny the arrival of a baby brings many rewards, the fact remains that raising a child is a costly affair. As parents, it is natural to want the best for your child. Best medical care, best childcare, to be in the best schools… the list just never seems to end. However, all this ‘wants’ come with a hefty price tag.

Before Sameer was born, my husband Faruk and I, sat down to calculate the total cost that we would incur by starting a family. The number was gigantous…and it was then that we both decided that it was imperative that we start saving for Sameer’s future as soon as he was born. Getting into the habit of investing early would help us prepare for his education and allow us to enjoy the financial freedom that comes when you have set your money aside

The first thing that we did was siphon off some of our monthly pay check to go into a savings account for Sameer. We both took into consideration the amount that we were comfortable to invest and put it aside on a monthly basis.

The second thing we did was sign Sameer up for a life policy. At some point or other, we knew Sameer would fall ill, and we wanted to be sure that we would not be slapped with a crazy hospital bill. Why take any chances?

Besides safeguarding our finances, we also took out a policy the moment he was born so that he could avoid the loophole of pre-existing illnesses! Because of our financial planner’s fore site, Sameer is now covered for pretty much everything from heart problems to asthma.

Today, we can sleep easy at night, because we have one less worry. We know that if anything were to happen (touch wood), we at least don’t have to stress out about finances!

If you are thinking of taking up a policy, but feel overwhelmed by all the different types and brands of policies out there, post a question on our new Ask The Advisor platform, and we’ll get an expert to reply back to you within a week!

- Zuleha Harun Rashid

Business Development Manager