Having Children Earlier
If you – like the rest of the world’ population – have spent a significant amount of time searching for The One before settling down to a domestic fairytale, it would be wise to start conceiving before Mother Nature slows down your biological clock and turns pregnancy into a long extended struggle.

A mother of two girls, Pamela shares her reasons for becoming a mother at the young age of 22: “I was afraid of how aging would affect the health of my babies. And knowing that younger mothers potentially have less pregnancy risks, it was a natural choice for me and my husband to start early.”

A year after the birth of Lauren, Pamela and her husband planned and conceived their second child. They had decided that they wanted a two year gap so as to foster closeness between the children, and to cut down the amount of time she had to leave work behind to commit full-time as a stay-home mom.

As fate would have it for their best laid plans, Eirian was born when Lauren was 25 months old.

Pamela had suffered from severe morning sickness in both pregnancies and was glad that her child spacing plan minimized the agony during her second pregnancy as Lauren was already walking and more independent. Pamela joked: “I think if I had them any closer together, I would have gone mad from the amount of effort!”

Having Children Later
After eight years of courtship, Tony and his wife got married at 34 and 33 years old respectively, and had initially not planned for children at all. They had wanted to enjoy what life had to offer – traveling extensively and enjoying the local arts scene together.

Five years into their marriage, they accidentally fell pregnant and decided to keep the baby. To this day, they have not once regretted the decision as Tony shares: “Being older, we had a maturity that came with age. We were also financially able to provide a better life for our little girl.”

With the new found joy of parenthood, Tony and his wife decided to try for a second child when their firstborn turned three. However, luck was not on their side.

Shortly into their second pregnancy, their unborn child was suspected to be at high risk for Down’s Syndrome during a Nuchal Transparency Scan, which was later confirmed through amniocentesis. It was a heartbreaking choice for them to undergo an abortion.

“Our children are a reflection of us; and when that reflection is very much less than perfect, we got frightened of the amount of effort and resources we would have to put into helping our kid thrive. There is too little government and society support for special children, and all that just led to one great giant fear.”

Tony and his wife conceived again a year after the painful experience, and have since given birth to a healthy baby boy.

“If we could choose again, I think we would have our first child two years earlier to cut down on all the health risks – for both mother and child – associated with a higher maternal age.”

The ultimate choice is yours to make
There are indeed pros and cons for both sides of the coin. With having children earlier, while there is significantly less risk with fertility and health issues, you may not be as financially stable. It can also be tiring to cater to a little one during your youthful years when your peers are out having fun. Sometimes, it may even feel like you are being robbed of your freedom and finances.

On the other hand, waiting until you are financially ready may mean undergoing the many risks involved with higher maternal age. While you may have gotten bored of an exciting social life and can’t wait to settle down into familial bliss, you may also find yourself having less physical energy to spend quality time with your children.

At the end of the day, there is no touted “best time” to conceive. It all boils down to how ready you are in becoming a parent, and how much you are willing offer in all aspects of your life.

Watch this cute animated video to find out.
PS: To submit a video to The Asian Parent, email us at video@theasianparent.com

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In order to maximize sperm quality, men seeking to become fathers should have sex (or ejaculate) every day for a week before their partner ovulates.

This study, conducted by Australian fertility specialist David Greening involved 118 men whose sperm had a higher-than-normal level of DNA damage.

Before the test, about 34 percent of the group’s sperm was classified as “poor” in quality. The men were asked to ejaculate daily for seven days, but were not given any drugs or told to make any changes to lifestyle. After seven days, their sperm was examined again. The average of damaged sperm fell to 26 percent. Fourth-fifths of the men saw an increase in sperm quality, and many of them moved into the “good” range and out of the “poor” or “fair” categories.

However, one-fifth saw a decline in sperm quality.

Daily ejaculation not only boosted sperm quality for most of the men, it also helped sperm motility — another big factor in successful fertilisation — even though volumes of semen declined.

The research did not investigate whether the improvement in sperm quality led to better pregnancy rates. But previous work has shown that sperm that is less damaged and more mobile has a better chance of leading to a healthy baby.

These results may mean that men player a greater role in fertility than previously suspected, and that ejaculatory frequency is important for improving sperm quality.

First comes love, and then comes marriage. Then comes a baby, in a baby carriage. Ha! If only it were that easy.

In India, having a child does not merely signify a deeper meaning to marriage. Instead, for a woman, it reinstates her position among her in-laws. However, getting pregnant is not something that can be done with the wave of a wand or toss of a coin into a well.

Not everyone is into artificial insemination or such. Here are certain position that increases the probability of one member of those little swimmers reaching its target.

The Missionary
The oldest and most traditional position – the man is on top. This position works the best in getting the sperm right at the entrance of the cervix. Here’s a worthy tip: Place a pillow under her hips and the chances of her getting pregnant skyrockets. Ladies, when this happens, tilt your hips and leave the rest to gravity. After intercourse, try to hold still for half an hour so that the sperm slides its way to the cervix.

Hands and Knees
Ah, the good old ‘Doggy Style’. The penetration on this position is deeper and some may even agree, produces more gratifying orgasms. How is it done? She gets on her knees (on the bed, though some have claimed to enjoy the carpeted floor better) and he enters her from behind. The sperm’s travel is made easier if she has a tilted or tipped uterus.

Spooning
For couples who like to take it slow, this one is for you. Lying side by side, he enters her as he caresses her from behind. A tip for this position: He should use a pillow under her hips after ejaculation to keep his sperm close to her cervix.

These three positions are rated as the best to get that little bump rolling. However, as much as there are best positions, there are bad ones that you should stay away from if you’re thinking of riding the high waves of pregnancy.

There are two important ones that should be avoided as there is absolutely no help in getting pregnant with those positions.

Woman on Top
Okay ladies, I know the urge to be right about everything and staying on the top is massively important. However, if you want to push that little baby carriage, this is one time you should avoid being on top. Why? Because, the sperm has just one way to go – up. So, it’s going to slide right out when he separates himself from you.

Standing
This position has enjoyment written all over it. But as stated above, there is no way this is going to aid in getting any woman pregnant.

How to predict ovulation
How do you know you’re ovulating? Ask a woman that and she’ll mention the ‘calendar system’ where, assuming a woman has a 28-day cycle, then she ovulates in mid-cycle. Although this method is overrated, it is not one of the most reliable methods. We stand by ovulation kits.

Ovulation Kit
Ovulation prediction kit works by reading LH surges prior to ovulation. Easy to use and generally accurate, the kit is picking up on popularity. Fertility monitor is also worth a mention as it aids in getting you pregnant faster. It’s similar to the kit as it reads changes in LH (luteinizing hormone) but also reads changes in other hormones and does not require any guesswork for couples. Easy to use and it tells you the best time to get pregnant.

Cervical Mucus Changes
As the cycle progresses, the cervical mucus increases in volume and changes texture due to the body’s rising levels of estrogen. When the mucus becomes clear, slippery and stretchy, then it’s your indication that you’re at your most fertile period.

Lower Abdominal Discomfort
Out of 5 women, 1 will feel the ovulation activity. On the pain scale, this can be measured from mild to bouts of pain. Lasting from a few minutes to a few hours, this discomfort is a positive sign of ovulation.

Getting pregnant is no walk in the park (however, if done right, it can happen in the park, haha!). Keep your mind on the goal, enjoy every minute of these positions and leave the rest to the Gods of conception!

Not many people are aware, but it IS actually possible to ALMOST guarantee the sex of a baby. Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) is considered the gold standard for sex selection. It involves in-vitro fertilisation (IVF), the removal of one cell from embryos and the analysis of the chromosomes and DNA three days after fertilisation. Embryos of the desired sex can then be chosen.

But unfortunately, (or should I say fortunately), PGD is only used for medical reasons in Singapore. So if there were to be a genetic disease which runs in boys, couples would be allowed to have PGD to implant only female embryos.

So what do you do if you are longing for a girl or hankering for a son, but are not eligible for PGD? Well you have two options: You can fly to the US or Russia, where mainstream PGD is legal, (but be prepared to fork out loads of dough!) or you can try some of the natural gender selection techniques, although it must be noted that none of these methods are scientifically proven.

Sperm Sorting

Before we go into the details, it is important to understand the basis of gender selection. Sperms carry two types of chromosomes, X and Y. Sperms with the Y chromosome which result in male offspring, are tiny and fragile, but the swim quickly. Sperms with the X chromosome which result in female offspring, are larger and hardier, but move more slowly. Therefore, the male sperms would race to meet the egg much faster than the female sperm, but they have a shorter lifespan and cannot survive in an acidic vaginal environment.

Shettles Method for Male Offspring

Based on the above theory, experts recommend that couples have intercourse within 24 hours before the woman ovulates if they want a bundle of blue. Why? Because Y sperms tend to swim to the egg first and fertilise it.

Penetration should also be as deep as possible (Read: Doggy Style). This ensures that the Y sperm is deposited nearer the cervix which is more alkaline and thus more favourable for them to survive. In addition to that, couples are adviced to abstain away from sex for about 3-4 days to maximise the number of Y sperms produced. (Boys do note, that abstaining from sex, also means not playing with your magic wand!)

It’s also best that women have an orgasm before penetration, in order to maintain an alkaline environment. In addition, women are advised to douche with water and baking soda, as it’s believed to boost alkalinity.

Shettles Method for Female Offsprings

If couples have intercourse 3 days or more before ovulation, their chances of conceiving a girl is better, as the weaker Y sperms tend to die sooner and the X sperms will be in greater quantity whenever the egg is released.

Shallow penetration (Read: Missionary) will ensure that the X sperm is deposited at the mouth of the cervix, which is more acidic, favouring their survival. Women should also avoid reaching an orgasm as this keeps the vaginal environment highly acidic. When a woman has an orgasm, the body releases a kind of substance which makes the environment more alkaline, and hence, more ideal for the Y sperm to survive. Women should also douche with water and vinegar immediately before intercourse to favour a girl.

Calories really count!

In a recent study by the University of Exter, Britain, which was published in Proceedings of the Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, Britain’s de facto academy of sciences, it was found that a hearty breakfast laced with sugar boosted women’s chances of conceiving a son.

Likewise, a low-energy diet that skimps on calories, minerals and nutrients is more likely to yield a female. Besides racking up a higher calorie count, the study found that women who produced more males were also more likely to have eaten a wider range of nutrients, including potassium, calcium and vitamins C, E and B12.

The odds of an XY, or male outcome to a pregnancy are also more significant “for women who consumed at least one bowl of breakfast cereal daily compared with those who ate less than or equal to one bowl of week,” the study reported.

While the mechanism is not yet understood, it is known from in-vitro fertilisation research that higher levels of glucose, or sugar, would encourage the growth and development of male embryos while inhibiting female embryos.

If nothing else, this at least may explain why we’re deemed as the “weaker” sex!

Have Your Say: Should parents be allowed to choose the sex of their baby?

Editor’s note: By running this article, in no way is theAsianparent.com condoning Sex selection. The very idea of gender choosing sort of gives us the willies. We can’t help but conjure up creepy images of Francis Galton–inspired über-babies, or think of the missing girls phenomena in India or China.

That said, we do recognise that we live in a democracy. And people should be able to make their own decision, certainly in a democracy.