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Monday, May 21, 2012
Parenting Woes
The Importance of ‘No’
By Sonali | December 26, 2009

Saying "no" to kids can often be a tricky business as you need to make them understand the importance of this word, albeit without losing your temper. Here's a guide that can help you teach your kids the importance of saying "No".

mom warningA very important concept that you need to make your child understand from a very young age is the concept of “No”. It is a part of the healthy discipline that you need to inculcate in your child and make the kid understand his/her limits.

Why should you say “No”
Your kids will constantly test you to search for their own limits and they will try to push those limits further and farther. But you have to implement discipline and rules in a consistent yet loving manner. You also have to define the consequences for rebellious behavior. When you are consistent in your approach, your kids will understand how to behave, what’s acceptable and what’s not.

Act like an adult
You have to be the parent that you are, always remembering that your goal is ensuring your child’s safety, comfort and best interests. You have to stop rebellious behavior before it becomes a nuisance. Your child may love fiddling with gadgets and while it looks cute the first time, you will soon realize that meddling with these gadgets can only cause harm to your own child as well as to the appliances. For instance if your 2 year old son wants to call up ‘papa’ from your mobile phone, it is not a very good idea to let him. This is where you need to step in and stop the undesirable behavior. You need to approach the situation seriously. Your child may not be old enough to understand the language but will definitely recognize the severity of the tone and back off. Of course, being the inquisitive child, he/she will probably come back to it even after being told no. You have to be consistent, not give in and always respond in the same way.

How to say “No”
While saying no, be careful not to scream, shout or smack. Experience tells me that such tactics are only counter-productive and induce more rebellious behavior in the child. Low, firm and serious tones work effectively with children. Always consider adopting a gentler, safer approach before going in for anything dramatic and drastic.
You can also try to give some reasoning for your “no”. Make the child understand why you don’t want them to do something. If the child wants to play with toilet water or your muddy shoes, make them understand by using words like “Dirty”, “Yucky”, “chee chee” etc to describe the object and make faces. Chances are that the child wouldn’t want to play with that the next time.

Fighting your own reluctance
Sometimes, our parental instincts may come in the way of being strict with children. The soft side of you will feel bad about denying your child something but you need to remember that you are only doing it for the child’s safety, family harmony and peace.

Good behavior should be rewarded
You can encourage your child to behave well with words of appreciation, hugs and kisses. All children like to be patted and praised and if they feel that their good actions get them these praises, they would definitely want to continue that behavior.

Saying “no” to kids and making them realize why you said no are very difficult things for parents to do. However, it’s important if you want them to develop into healthy, well-behaved adults.

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