Before the baby comes
It is good to start preparing your child for the coming of her sibling even while you are still pregnant. First of all, it is  necessary that you express your love and affection to your child. Always say “I love you.” Give her hugs and kisses. Let her feel secure with the love you have for her. And as your tummy begins to bulge, tell her that there is a baby growing inside it.

It’s better if you can find story books that talk about babies and what goes on in mummy’s tummy. Read these books to her before she goes to sleep. Demonstrate talking to the baby and let her do the same.  Ask her to say “I love you” to the baby. Allow her to also hug the baby inside your tummy. As you do this everyday, she will grow accustomed to the baby as a part of the family even when it has not arrived. You can also bring her along during your pre-natal visits to the doctor. Involve her in everything.

These are what I did when I was pregnant with my second child and my eldest daughter was two years old at the time. I also applied the same steps when the third baby came. I found out that each of them has adjusted quickly to  the new baby when it came out. I attributed this pleasant attitude with the fact that my husband and I continued to shower each of my children with attention and love as we prepared for the coming of the baby.

When the new baby arrives
Once the baby is born, let her touch and hold the baby. But just be cautious of what she might do. She might hold the baby too tightly and be unaware of it. Talk to her about her new role as the elder sister. Ask her to do small tasks as you care for the baby. When bathing the baby, ask her to rub soap on the arms or legs of her sibling. When you dress up the baby, let her pass on to you the baby’s clothes or things. If the baby is fed with infant formula, let her hold the bottle.

You can also read again and again to her story books that talk about her role as the eldest of the young. She can even pretend to read it to her sister or brother. Point out to her how small her sibling is by observing the parts of her sibling’s body. This is to show that her sibling is fragile and that she has  to take care of her/ him.

Never fail to express and demonstrate love and affection to your child. Make her see that she is still loved even when there is already a new baby in the family. Spend time to tickle her, to cuddle her and to attend to her needs. If there are times when she  ignores her sibling, then don’t force her. Let her do what she wants to do as she copes with the changes that are taking place.

There are children who can easily adjust but there are some who cannot. A few find it difficult to accept the fact that they will no longer be the baby of the family. But you can help them in the transition by being loving and caring. When you see signs of jealousy in the older child, assure her that you love her as much as the new addition.

Do not harshly scold or reprimand her. If she shows signs of aggression, gently point out that her actions will harm her sibling. Don’t rush things for your child. Be patient with her. In time, she will get used to becoming the older sister you can be proud of.

1) You and your man have discussed buying a kitten
Or any pet for that matter. You obviously are portraying the mother instinct of having the urge to look after, feed, nurture and have some responsibility and you are obviously prepared to part with some cash for pet food/vet bills. Could this longing for a pet actually hiding your need to become a mummy? Is this secretly a test for your other half to see how he deals with it? If you find yourself talking about your pet incessantly, dressing it up, canceling nights out or rushing home to give your pet a cuddle, needless to say, its time for you to get a baby.

2) You prefer a night in to a night out?
Yes, it happens! Even to the best of us. The thought of relaxing on your sofa with a pizza and watching some TV is far more appealing then dressing up and going out to paint the town red. This lifestyle shows you are ready for a baby!

3) You dream of babies
If you have dreams of yourself cradling a baby in your arms or a toddler clutching on to your finger, it’s needless to say that you’re ready for a baby. This is indicative of your sub-conscious minds yearning for a baby.

4)You stop and admire other people’s babies
If you find other peoples whiny, snotty babes cute then you are most definitely ready for one. If you talk naturally to children and volunteer for babysitting your friend’s children, it’s time for you to embrace the fact that you need to get your own!

5) Your spare room looks empty and sad
Isn’t it time you started shopping for train wallpapers or for a Shrek bedsheets. Does the spare room deserve more than just being a store room for the useless junk in the house?

6) You’ve already chosen your babies’ names
And you’ve told all your friends so they don’t copy your favourite names.

7) You’ve been around the world and had exotic holidays
Once the baby comes into your lives, you’ll be trading in those long haul flights for family holidays. Hence, if you’ve been places, you’re less likely to resent the fact that having kids means you’ll have to cap the luxury.

You’ve already cut down on alcohol/caffeine/smoking
Since these are things you have to eventually cut down on or give up altogether, it can only be helpful if you have already reduced consumption. If you think cutting down or giving them up, talk to your GP who can give you the right advice about cutting down or stopping.

9) You’ve both ‘talked’ about having babies
If you’ve had the “talk” and it didn’t end up in him admitting that he never wants babies and you in tears, but felt more like a discussion then you are probably ready. Making the decision to try is going to be scary and nerve-racking – but the god news, once you do become pregnant, you’ve got 9 whole months to get ready and prepared for the stork to come drop off the baby.

10) You’ve sneaked into a baby shop and ‘pretended’ you’re buying a present for someone…
But really you’re imagining what it feels like shopping for your little one. Wondering what it would be like dressing up your baby, or playing with those toys with him, or putting those pretty socks on her…yes, you’ve got it bad.

If you find yourself nodding to at least 5 of the answers above, it’s pretty certain that you are ready for a baby…and we at TheAsianParent would like to see you officially join the community. Good luck, mums-and-dads-to-be!

There has been a study among breasfeeding mothers that working moms are more likely to stop breastfeeding between two to six months due to their work.  So, what do you do to continue breastfeeding even when you are working? Here are a few things you can consider and follow so you can still breastfeed your child even when you’re back to work.

Purchase a quality breast pump that will be appropriate for your needs. If you plan to pump for most of your baby’s daily feedings, then buy a pump that can give you the most benefits. A double electric pump will enable you to save time because it can pump both breasts at the same time.  There are different types of breast pumps available in the market that will suit your daily pumping needs. Choose the one that will be affordable and appropriate for your situation.

Talk to your employer before going back to work about your pumping milk at the office. Tell your boss about what you intend so you can get his or her support. But if your boss is hesitant about it, then reassure him or her that this will not keep you from accomplishing your responsibilities in the office.

Determine and keep your daily schedule for pumping milk. Find out the times when you have the most milk and schedule your pumping session at these times. It is also recommended to express milk after three to four hours but be flexible in case there are emergency and urgent situations at work. Whenever possible, add an extra pumping session to your daily schedule. In this way, you will have extra milk for those times when you cannot pump because of a busy schedule.

Relax while having your pumping session. As you pump milk from your breast, do not think about the things that you still need to do. Instead of filling your mind with work-related concerns, try to think about your baby and enjoy the moment. You can close your eyes and give your time to rest while doing it. You can also look at the picture of your baby or imagine holding your baby.

Store expressed milk properly. Always label the bottle of expressed milk  with the date before placing it inside the refrigerator at home or on an insulated lunchbox when you are at work. This will ensure that the milk pumped earlier will be consumed first than those that were extracted at a later time. Keep an extra bottle of expressed milk inside the fridge at home. At room temperature, breast milk can last up to 10 hours. Inside the refrigerator, it can be stored up to 8 days. It can be even last up to 2 weeks when stored inside the freezer compartment.

Determine your baby’s daily feedings. Find out how many bottles of milk your baby can drink within the time that you are away for work and add an extra bottle so you won’t have to worry about having an extra pumping. Also, monitor which of the bottles you have placed on the fridge had been consumed and if there is any bottle of milk left for your baby.

Dress up suitably for your pumping sessions. You can bring a jacket, a blazer or a cardigan sweater to work  to cover up any leak spots  after a pumping session. To avoid embarrassment, it is best to bring something that you can wear over your blouse or office uniform when the unexpected happens. You should also wear absorbent nursing pads or bring an extra for leaks. Breastfeeding working moms are also advised to wear printed tops instead of plain-colored ones so that leaks may not be easily seen.

With proper planning for your pumping at the workplace, you don’t need to worry working mom. You can do it! Just follow these tips and you’ll be able to handle the role of a breastfeeding working mom.

1) Roll up sleeves and remove all jewellery.

2) If you are unable to remove you wedding ring, wash and dry thoroughly around and under it.

3) Use running warm water; wet your hands (and turn off the tap!) and dispense one squirt of the recommended liquid soap into the palm of the hand.

4) Hold hands down below the elbow height to prevent water running onto forearms.

5) Rub hands together vigorously to lather, paying particular attention to thumbs, nails, finger tips and finger webs.

6) Rinse well to remove all traces of soap.

7) Turn off water faucet using elbows, then dry hands thoroughly on a paper towel; If that feels uncomfortable, then first dry hands thoroughly, and turn off the tap using a paper towel.

Dispose of towels into the bin; do not contaminate your hands by touching the bin lid.

What type of soap should be used?
Any type of plain soap may be used. However, bar soap should be kept in a self draining holder that is cleaned thoroughly before new bars are put out. Liquid soap containers should be used until empty and then disposed of.

Still Unclear?
Watch this video for a step-by-step guide.

Remember, Clean Hands Save Lives!

A study has revealed that pregnant women who nibble at a chocolate at least 3 times a week could halve their risk of developing pre-eclampsia. This is a condition in which there is increased blood pressure and reduced transfer of oxygen and nutrients to the baby leading to premature births.

The main reason for this condition is unknown but it is believed that the blood vessels in the placenta do not form properly driving the blood pressure up. Usually, mums-to-be are advised to take drugs to lower their blood pressure coupled with plenty of bed rest thus reducing stress on the baby. Unfortunately, this is no cure to the potentially deadly condition. It simply gives the baby more time to grow strong enough to undergo C-section.

This study of dietary habits of women during their pregnancy showed higher rates of chocolate consumption among the women who did not suffer from pre-eclampsia.

‘Women who reported regular chocolate consumption of more than three servings a week had a 50 per cent or greater reduced risk of pre-eclampsia,’ dailymail.co.uk quoted a researcher as saying.

‘Regular chocolate intake during the first or third trimester was equally protective,’ the researcher added.

That leaves you only one thing to do. We at TheAsianParent urge all mums-to-be to go out to your nearest store to grab some of your favourite chocolate now!

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

5. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer.

6. Play more games.

7. Read more books than you did in 2008.

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

9. Sleep for atleast 7 hours.

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:

11. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don’t over do. Keep your limits.

14. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake.

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Society:

25. Call your family often.

26. Be gentle with the earth.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.

33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. Believe in the power of faith.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

38. If you mess up, it’s no one’s fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

40. Share “I cans” with other people – make them feel like they can do anything too.

At one time or another we have all said “if I only knew then what I know now…”; now is your chance to share. What if your one rule for life?

Photo from Fifa.com

Just in case you missed it – here is an update of the results of the Fifa World Cup finals!

Spain has finally beaten the odds to emerge as the 2010 Fifa World Cup Champions. In the 122 minute nail-biter, midfielder Andres Iniesta was the one to seal the deal in the 116th minute, pouncing on the ball set up by Cesc Fabregas to produce the only goal of the match.

The final game was a tough one, however, with referee Howard Webb handing out 14 yellow cards and one red. 10 of the cards belonged to Holland, with Dutch defender John Heitinga being shown off the pitch in the 109th minute after 2 consecutive yellow cards. In spite of this, the Spaniards managed to show what “The Beautiful Game” was all about,  adding the Fifa Fair Play Award to their trophy.

Captain Iker Casillas, who led the team through both their Euro 2008 and current World Cup victories, also went home with the Golden Glove Award, having conceeded only 2 goals over the course of the tournament.

“This is something you dream about as a child,” said Casillas on winning Spain’s first ever World Cup. “It’s something you see everywhere but can never picture happening to you. To be honest, I still can’t believe it.”

Coach Vincente del Bosque was thrilled as well. ‘It was a hard-fought game, but we have got great players…It was a well-deserved victory and a very happy day for me,’ he said.

A final interesting, albeit random, piece of news – sensational Paul the Octopus has now officially been correct in every single one of his predictions for each of the 8 rounds, having picked La Furia Roja as the world champions over the Oranjes! Well, what do you think of that?

Watch the highlights of the match here.

The mini is also the only birth control pill that has a long-term study available, meaning that babies who nursed while their mothers took this pill were followed into adolescence to determine any effect. None have been documented, although there have been concerns about exposing the new infant to unnecessary steroids.

The mini-pill has to be taken everyday with no breaks in between packs and at the same time everyday in order to be effective.

Amidst of all these activities to accomplish in one day, do you ever take some time for yourself? Most working mothers I know, say they no longer have time for themselves. They have only twenty-four hours and within the day they need to take care of the household needs, the children, their job (on top of all these) and their husband. Does this mean super mothers cannot have some time for themselves away from their busy schedule?

Of course, super mothers like you should have a “time out.” Mothers are also humans and  they should give themselves time to rest, relax and recharge from the stress and tension of their everyday concerns. If mothers do not relieve themselves of stress, there are long-term consequences that might not just affect the mother, but the whole family as well. Mothers can be affected physically, physiologically and psychologically by high levels of stress. Studies show that diseases are caused by stress. No wonder, you experience headaches, backaches, muscle pains, sleep abnormalities, high blood pressure and a lot more. Now if illness strikes you, who would take care of your family in the long run, Super Mom?

But what can you do? Should you neglect other activities that need to be accomplished just to have a break for yourself? Do you feel guilty just thinking about it? Well, you shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time for yourself for it would also benefit your family. Having a break or a time out will allow you to reduce the stress that you feel so you won’t be grouchy and you won’t quickly snap at your children. Time for yourself will allow you look at yourself, your family and your job. You can reconsider your priorities and goals in life and focus on what is most important. It will also be good to hide away before the stress causes  you tot ‘explode’ on the people you love. Relieving yourself of negative emotions will reduce the risk of hurting your loved-ones.

So, you’ve already decided to take some time out. Now what? Does it mean you have to take one day off away from your home and work to go someplace else? No, it doesn’t really mean that way. Having a fifteen-minute to a one-hour break everyday will already be considered a time out for you. At this time you can read an inspirational book, listen to your favourite song, go for a walk, watch an entertaining television show, engage yourself on a hobby, eat your favourite food, or just take a nap. There are countless possibilities for you to enjoy that short break. You don’t really have to hire a babysitter or ask someone to watch over the kids, for you can do this while your children are sleeping at home or when having a break at work. It is recommended that you write down the things you need to do for the day, schedule a time for each activity according to importance then, block off some time for yourself.

Aside from short breaks everyday, you can also have weekly time outs. Once a week or once every two weeks, you can go out for dinner with your husband, eat lunch with your friends or colleagues, visit tourist spots or even go to the spa. Again, there are many possible things you can do to spend your de-stressing time. You can choose to be alone so you have time for contemplation or reflection or you can bring along your husband for a chance to bond with him.

Don’t wait for another day, week, month or year. Give yourself some time out and you’ve got to do it now!

Before we answer that question, let’s look at some misconceptions that people have about confidence in children.

• Confidence is in the genes
• By the use of some magic formula, children can become confident instantly
• Only some children are destined to be confident

The truth is…

Confidence doesn’t have anything to do with a child’s genetic makeup. No magic formula can make a child instantly confident because confidence is built through diligence and perseverance. If you think that only a chosen few are destined to be confident, then you are wrong. Any child can grow to be confident as long as he or she receives the right guidance and support from his or her parents.

While it’s true that every child has his or her own temperament, it’s not true that only sanguine or choleric children can be confident. Here are some things that you can do to raise confident children:

1. Make your child understand that nobody is perfect. All people make mistakes. The best way to help them comprehend this concept is to model it for them. When you make a mistake, don’t try to cover it up. Tell your children that you have made a mistake but it’s alright because you can learn new things from it. But make sure that this will not be a license for inappropriate behaviour.

2. Tell them that they are unique and important. They have to understand that no two persons are alike so they shouldn’t compare themselves with other children.

3. Help them to discover their passions and encourage them to develop their talents. Observe what your child’s interest is as this is what he or she would love to do most. Support them by allowing them to enrol in supplementary courses. Children feel confident when they are able to do at least one thing expertly.

4. Allow them to make decisions. It is not healthy for parents to always decide for their kids. Since young children are still unable to make complex decisions, parents can give them clear choices. Instead of saying, “What would you like drink?”, parents can say, “Would you like milk or orange juice?”

5. Don’t be a superdad or supermom. Instead of always trying to rescue your kids, give them a chance to sort out their own problems. Just provide guidance but don’t solve their problems for them. Overparenting will produce kids who will be afraid to take risks and who will always just hide behind their parents.

6. Give them responsibilities. Assign your kids to do some chores at home. You can ask them to do simple things such as setting the table or dusting the furniture. Doing this, will make them feel proud of being able to contribute something at home.

7. Encourage and compliment them often. However, you have to be careful that you don’t give out your compliments carelessly. Make sure that you only compliment them for things that they do extraordinarily well. Don’t compliment them just for doing regular household chores.

8. Be their best critic. If they do something wrong, don’t just ignore their mistakes for fear of hurting their feelings. It is fine to let them know when they have done something wrong but be specific when correcting them. Your motivation for pointing out their mistake is not to embarrass them but to help them to improve.

9. Talk with them often. As parents, you have to know what your children are going through. Spending time with them regularly will make them feel loved and accepted. This will also help them to learn how to express themselves freely.

10. Express your love through simple gestures. A simple hug or kiss can make your children feel really happy. If you do this regularly, they are sure to feel secure of your love.

11. Comfort them when they are troubled. When you know that your children are going through some rough times, try to find ways to help them relax. You can give them a treat or you can just have a stroll with them.

12. Encourage them to help others. Children who think of the welfare of others grow up to be more confident than those who only think of themselves. You can start training them on this by asking them to help you when you are doing something. Then you can find opportunities on how they can help the less fortunate. You can visit an orphanage and give out gifts to the children there, or you can drive around town and give out food to the needy.

13. Teach them to be optimistic. If your child feels down because of some disappointments, help him or her to look at the brighter side of things. Prevent them from wallowing in self-pity. Help them to think of ways on how to improve their situation.

14. Encourage them to build relationships with other adults. While it’s nice for them to be close to kids their age, it would be good if they can establish a bond with some adults. This will help them see things in different perspectives allowing them to broaden their way of thinking.

15. Help them to set goals. Let your kids dream big dreams. Constantly ask how they envision themselves in the future. Then ask them to come up with plans that can bring them closer to their dreams.