Hiring an ayah or maid: verification, boundaries and child safety
Most Indian families with young children employ help, and most arrangements are perfectly safe. The verification and supervision rules below are what make the difference — and so is treating the person you employ well.
Verification before hiring
Get identity documents and keep copies: Aadhaar, a photograph, and the address of both the current residence and the native place. Take the names and numbers of two previous employers — and actually call them, asking specific questions rather than 'was she good?'.
Police verification is available in most cities, often online through the state police portal, and takes days rather than weeks. If you hire through an agency, ask what verification they have done and see the paperwork rather than accepting an assurance.
Meet the person's family or at least know where they live. Prefer someone with a traceable history — a referral from a family you know is worth more than any agency's promise.
Be honest about the job: hours, tasks, days off, salary, whether cooking is included, whether they will be alone with children. Vague arrangements become disputes.
Supervision rules that matter
No sole charge in the first weeks. Overlap with the new person, watch how they handle the child, and build up gradually — that period tells you more than any reference.
Set the physical rules: bathroom and changing done with the door open or in a common area, no closed-door time alone with a child, no taking the child out of the building without permission, and no visitors to the house.
Teach the child the body-safety rules — see our guide — and make it explicit that they apply to everyone including household staff, drivers and tutors. Keep the conversation open: ask specific questions about the day, watch for fear of a particular person, sudden behaviour changes or unexplained gifts.
Cameras: legal in your own home in common areas, and many families use them. Tell the employee they exist — covert filming of a person in a private space is both unethical and legally risky, and open cameras achieve the same protection. Never place cameras in bathrooms or staff sleeping areas.
Practical safety and instructions
Write the essentials down and stick them on the fridge: your numbers, a neighbour's number, the paediatrician, 108, the child's blood group and allergies, and the rule to call you immediately in any emergency rather than waiting.
Cover the specific instructions many families forget: no medicines or home remedies without your permission, no travelling with the child on a two-wheeler, no leaving the child alone even briefly, no giving the child a phone, and no sharing photographs of the child on social media.
Kitchen and hygiene: handwashing before handling food and after nappies, boiled or filtered water, no reheated leftovers for babies. And basic first aid: what to do for a burn, a fall, choking, and where the first-aid box is.
Health: ask about their own health, ensure they are treated when ill (an unwell person cannot afford to take unpaid leave and will hide it), and be alert to tuberculosis in anyone with a persistent cough — it is a genuine household risk in India and entirely treatable once identified.
Treating staff fairly
The unglamorous half of child safety is a workplace where the employee is not desperate or resentful. Pay fairly and on time, agree leave and a weekly day off, provide a proper meal and a place to sit, and do not add tasks casually.
Do not employ children. Employing anyone under 14 in domestic work is illegal in India, and hiring a 'girl to look after the baby' who is herself a child is both a criminal offence and a safety problem for both children.
Speak respectfully in front of your children, who are learning how people are treated from watching you. Separate utensils, a separate chair and a different tone teach a lesson you probably do not intend to teach.
Where staff live in, respect privacy, provide a proper room, and keep working hours human. Live-in arrangements without boundaries become exploitative easily.
Frequently asked questions
Q: How do I get police verification done? — Most state police forces have an online form for domestic help verification; otherwise the local police station will accept an application with the employee's ID, photograph and both addresses. It is free or nominal, and it also protects the employee against false accusations.
Q: My child has become afraid of the ayah. What should I do? — Take it seriously immediately: do not leave them alone together, ask the child open questions calmly ('what happens when I am not here?'), watch for other signs, and act on your instinct even without proof. If there is any suspicion of abuse, Childline is 1098.
Q: Is a CCTV camera in the child's room acceptable? — In your own home it is legal and common. Tell the employee, keep it out of bathrooms and their private space, and remember cameras are a supplement to supervision rather than a substitute.
Q: The ayah keeps posting photos of my child on WhatsApp status. — Ask her to stop, explain why, and make it a written rule. Children's photographs, school uniforms and location details circulating publicly are a genuine safety issue.
Reviewed by
- Nakul Phatak — CEO, theAsianparent India & IndonesiaHead of theAsianparent India; father of one
- Roshni Chugani — Head of Marketing, theAsianparent India & Singapore12 years in the mother-and-baby space; mother of two
Published by: theAsianparent editorial team
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