Songs, rhymes and stories: the oldest parenting tool there is

Why it works

Songs slow language down and repeat it, which is exactly how babies learn: the rhythm marks word boundaries, the repetition builds memory, and the melody holds attention far longer than speech.

Rhymes teach the sound patterns that reading depends on later — children who know many rhymes find learning to read easier, which is one of the more reliable findings in early literacy research.

And singing calms both of you. A baby recognises a song heard in the womb, a toddler settles to a familiar lullaby, and a stressed parent's breathing slows while singing. No screen does any of this.

What to sing

Keep the family's own songs. Whatever your grandmother sang — a Marathi angai, a Tamil thaalattu, a Bengali ghum parani gaan, a Hindi lori, a Punjabi lohri — those carry language, culture and the family's voice, and they will not survive unless someone sings them.

Traditional Indian rhymes with actions work brilliantly for toddlers: chanda mama, aaj ki taaza khabar, chubby cheeks, machhli jal ki rani hai, akkad bakkad, and the counting and clapping rhymes of every language. Add the English nursery rhymes too — both is better than either.

Film songs count. Nobody has ever proved that a lullaby must be traditional, and a parent singing an old film song with feeling gives a child more than a perfect recording.

Make up songs about the day: narrating bath time, mealtime and getting dressed to any tune. Silly is fine. Toddlers are an uncritical audience and the language exposure is the point.

Storytelling without a book

Tell stories rather than only reading them. Family stories — what your father did as a boy, how your parents met, what your village was like — are the ones children remember, and they build a sense of belonging that no picture book does.

Use the old stock: Panchatantra, Jataka tales, Akbar-Birbal, Tenali Rama, stories from the epics, and folk tales in the family's language. Tell them badly, forget bits, let the child correct you.

Involve the child: let them choose the animals, decide what happens next, and eventually tell you a story. A four-year-old telling a rambling story is doing serious language work.

Grandparents are the best storytellers most families have, and often the only remaining speakers of the family language. A daily fifteen minutes of grandparent storytelling passes down more than entertainment.

Building the habit

Attach it to existing routines: a song at bath time, a rhyme while dressing, a story at bedtime, a lullaby before sleep. Habits attached to routines survive; scheduled 'activity time' does not.

Do not worry about your voice. Babies and small children have no critical faculty about singing, and they prefer a familiar imperfect voice to a recording every time.

Repeat relentlessly. Children want the same song and the same story hundreds of times, and the repetition is doing the learning. Boredom is the adult's problem, not the child's.

Use recordings as a supplement rather than a replacement — a playlist in the car is fine; a screen playing rhymes while a toddler watches alone does not build language the way a person does.

Frequently asked questions

Q: My child only wants rhymes from videos, not from me. — Common when screen rhymes have been a routine. Take the videos away for a couple of weeks and sing the same songs yourself with actions — participation beats watching, and children come round quickly.

Q: Which language should I sing in? — All the ones you speak, and especially the home language, which is the one at risk of being lost. Children handle several easily.

Q: I do not know any traditional songs. What now? — Ask the oldest relatives you have and record them on your phone — that recording becomes something your children will want in thirty years. Meanwhile, sing anything: film songs, bhajans, whatever you know.

Q: When should I start? — During pregnancy, if you like — babies recognise sounds heard in the womb — and certainly from birth. There is no age at which singing to a child stops being useful.