When and how to stop the pacifier

What it does, good and bad

In the first year, a soother has real benefits: it satisfies a strong sucking need, settles babies, and its use at sleep is associated with a reduced risk of sudden infant death.

Beyond about a year the balance shifts. Prolonged use is associated with more middle-ear infections, and with changes to the bite and the position of the front teeth.

Dental guidance generally suggests stopping by around two to three years. Bite changes from use stopped by about three usually correct themselves; use continuing past four is more likely to need orthodontic treatment later.

Constant daytime use also reduces babbling and talking practice, simply because a mouth with a soother in it is not making sounds. Restricting it to sleep from around a year onwards addresses most of that.

If you are breastfeeding, most guidance suggests waiting until feeding is well established, at around three to four weeks, before introducing one.

How to stop

Reduce first, remove second. Confine it to the cot, then to night only, over a couple of weeks. Many children lose interest once it is not available during the day.

For a child under about two: cold turkey usually works and is over in about three nights. Take them all out of the house so there is nothing to give in with at 2 a.m.

For a child over two, involve them. The soother fairy who exchanges them for a present, posting them in a parcel for a new baby, or planting them in a pot — these work because the child hands it over rather than having it taken.

Replace the comfort with something else: extra cuddling at bedtime, a comfort cloth, a longer story. You are removing a coping tool, so offer another.

Do not do it during upheaval — a new sibling, starting daycare, an illness, travel. Pick a dull fortnight.

Do not cut the teat. A damaged soother is a choking hazard.

And once it is gone, do not bring it back for one bad night. Going back resets the whole process and teaches that enough protest works.

When to see a doctor

See a dentist if the front teeth are visibly pushed forward or the front teeth do not meet when the back teeth are together, particularly in a child over three.

See a doctor for repeated ear infections, which are more common with prolonged soother use.

Raise it with your paediatrician if a child over three cannot manage without it at all, or if the sucking is one of several self-soothing behaviours that seem driven by anxiety rather than habit.

Also for speech concerns: if a child of two is using very few words, get their hearing and speech assessed rather than assuming the soother is the cause.

This article is general information, not medical advice, and is no substitute for personal medical advice.

Frequently asked questions

Q: Is thumb sucking better? — In one way it is worse: you cannot take a thumb away, and thumb sucking often lasts longer. A soother is easier to stop.

Q: How long will the bad nights last? — Usually about three, sometimes up to a week. Almost every family reports it was easier than expected.

Q: My child is four and still uses one. — Worth stopping now, with the child's involvement, and worth a dental check on the bite.

Q: Can we keep it just for sleep? — Yes, and that is the standard middle position from about one year. Aim to have stopped altogether by two to three.