Your toddler at 20 months: two-word sentences and big feelings

Where a 20-month-old is

Vocabulary is often fifty words or more and growing weekly, with two-word combinations — 'want milk', 'papa car', 'no bath'. Some children are still on a handful of words and, if the eighteen-month markers were met, are usually catching up.

Physically: running, climbing stairs with a hand held, kicking a ball, throwing overarm badly, and beginning to jump with both feet.

Emotionally: strong preferences, strong objections, and no brakes. Frustration and delight both arrive at full volume.

Reducing the conflict

Predictable routine does more than any technique — the same order of events each day means fewer surprises to object to.

Give choices within your decision: not 'shall we have a bath?' but 'red towel or blue?'. Not 'do you want to leave?' but 'shall we walk or shall I carry you?'

Narrate feelings in three or four words so the child gets vocabulary for them: 'you are angry', 'that was disappointing'. Children who have words for feelings use them instead of screaming, eventually.

And catch the good: notice out loud when they wait, share or handle a disappointment. Attention for the wanted behaviour changes it faster than any consequence for the unwanted one.

Health and routine

Sleep 11-14 hours with one nap. Milk capped at 400-500 ml, three meals and two snacks, and water in between.

Deworming is generally advised from a year, twice yearly, and is free through the Anganwadi and school programme. Ask your doctor about your child's schedule.

First dental visit if it has not happened, and continue brushing twice a day yourself with a rice-grain smear of fluoride toothpaste.

When to see a doctor

Same-day at any age: fast or laboured breathing, the chest sucking in, blue lips; a fit; a child who is floppy, drowsy or hard to wake; no urine for six to eight hours or signs of dehydration; a rash that does not fade when pressed; repeated forceful or green vomiting; blood in stool or vomit; a swollen tender abdomen; or a head injury with vomiting or drowsiness. Call 108 for breathing difficulty.

At 20 months specifically: fewer than six words, no two-word combinations by 24 months, no pointing, no pretend play, not following simple instructions, no interest in other children, or any loss of skills.

And at any age, the loss of a skill a child already had — words, walking, waving, eye contact — needs an assessment rather than a wait.

This article is general information, not medical advice, and is no substitute for personal medical advice. For any decision about your or your child's health, please consult your doctor.

Frequently asked questions

Q: He wakes at night crying and cannot be settled. — Check the obvious first: teeth, a blocked nose, worms (which itch at night), too hot, or an over-late nap. Then look at how he falls asleep at bedtime; children need the same conditions to resettle at 2 a.m.

Q: Should she be sharing toys by now? — No. Sharing is a skill that develops from around three, and parallel play beside other children is entirely normal now. Supervise and expect to referee.

Q: Is it too early for playschool? — Most Indian children start between two and three, and there is no developmental requirement to start at all. Our starting-playschool guide covers how to choose.

Q: How do I stop the bedtime battle? — Same order, same time, screens off an hour before, and a short routine you do not extend. Negotiating once teaches that bedtime is negotiable.