How to hold and carry a newborn

Picking up, holding, putting down

Wash your hands first, and ask anyone else to do the same before holding the baby.

To pick up from lying: slide one hand under the head and neck and the other under the bottom, then lift slowly, keeping the head supported and roughly in line with the body. Move slowly — sudden movement triggers the startle reflex.

Newborns cannot support their own heads until around three to four months. Whatever the position, the head and neck need support until then.

The cradle hold: head in the crook of your elbow, forearm along the back, other hand under the bottom. The everyday one.

The shoulder hold: baby upright against your chest with their head on your shoulder, one hand across the back and one supporting the head. Best for winding and for a baby who wants to be upright.

The football or clutch hold: baby along your forearm, head in your hand, body tucked along your side. Useful after a caesarean because it keeps weight off the abdomen.

The face-down forearm hold, sometimes called the colic hold: baby's tummy along your forearm, head supported in your hand. Many unsettled babies prefer it, and it is for a calm awake baby with an adult holding them — never for sleep.

To put down: bottom first, then back, then head last, with your hands staying on them for a slow count of thirty. Our page on why babies wake at the transfer covers this in more detail.

Never shake, and how to avoid getting there

Shaking a baby causes bleeding around the brain, and it can cause permanent disability or death. A newborn's head is heavy relative to the neck and the brain is fragile.

It almost never happens out of malice. It happens at the end of a long night, to an exhausted person, when a baby will not stop crying. That is what makes it worth planning for rather than assuming it could not be you.

The plan: if you feel yourself losing control, put the baby down safely in the cot, on their back, walk out of the room, and let them cry for a few minutes while you breathe. A crying baby in a safe cot is completely fine. A baby in the arms of someone who has run out is not.

Then call someone. Anyone. This is the point at which to wake a partner, phone a sister, or knock on a neighbour's door.

Tell everyone who cares for the baby the same thing, including grandparents and any domestic help — it is the people who feel unable to admit they are struggling who are most at risk.

Vigorous bouncing, throwing a baby in the air, and swinging by the arms are all separate risks and all common at Indian family gatherings. It is reasonable to stop it.

Ordinary handling, bouncing on a knee, and playing do not cause this. Violent shaking does.

Tummy time, carrying and other people

Tummy time from the first weeks, in short frequent sessions, always supervised and never for sleep. Start on your chest while you lie back — most babies who hate the floor accept this — and build up.

It builds the neck and shoulder strength that head control depends on, and it reduces flat spots on the back of the head.

Carrying in a sling or carrier: baby high enough to kiss, face visible and turned to the side, chin off the chest, back supported in a curve, and legs in an M-shape with the knees higher than the bottom. Check them often. Our carrier guide covers choosing one.

Never carry a baby and hot liquid at the same time, and never carry a baby on a two-wheeler.

Other people: it is reasonable to ask visitors to wash hands, to not kiss the baby's face, and to sit down before being handed the baby. Our page on visitors covers how to say it.

And older siblings: sitting on the floor or a sofa, with the baby placed in their lap and an adult's hand on the baby throughout.

When to see a doctor

Go to hospital immediately if a baby has been shaken, dropped, or has had any head injury — even if they seem fine. Also for: vomiting, unusual sleepiness, a bulging soft spot, a fit, floppiness, or a change in consciousness. Call 108 or go to the nearest hospital immediately if your baby: is breathing fast, grunting, or drawing in beneath the ribs; has blue or grey lips, tongue or face; is floppy, unresponsive or very difficult to wake; has a fit; has a temperature of 38C or above at under three months; is not feeding at all; or has a rash that does not fade when pressed with a glass.

See a doctor for: a baby who consistently holds their head to one side, has a flattening on one side of the head, does not lift their head at all during tummy time by around two months, or feels unusually stiff or floppy.

And get help for yourself if you are at the end of your reserves. Feeling that you might harm the baby is far more common than anyone admits and it is a reason to ask for help, not to feel ashamed. Tele-MANAS on 14416 is free, confidential and round the clock.

This article is general information, not medical advice, and has not been reviewed by a paediatrician. It is no substitute for personal medical advice.

Frequently asked questions

Q: Am I holding the head enough? — If the head moves with the body rather than flopping back, you are. It is more robust than it feels.

Q: Can I bounce or rock my baby? — Yes. Gentle rocking and bouncing are soothing and safe. Violent shaking is a completely different thing.

Q: My baby hates tummy time. — Very common. Do it on your chest, in short bursts, several times a day, and not straight after a feed.

Q: Can I carry my newborn in a sling on a scooter? — No. Babies must never be carried on a two-wheeler.